Category: Uncategorized

lierdumoa:

daeranilen:

real-pcys:

real-pcys:

hot take: moms need to learn how to listen to and comfort their daughters without making everything about their own traumas

a classic example

daughter: hey this thing you do bothers me very much and i wish you wouldn’t do it

mom: well my parents abused me and im not even as bad as they were and i had to sit through it so you gotta sit through whatever i do to you too

a common variant

mom: well i’m having a really hard time right now and you know that i’m doing my best and that i didn’t mean to hurt you ergo you are in fact the asshole for asking me to consider your feelings and change my behavior during this hard hard time i’m having

This is a very important post about how to recognize problematic behavior in narcissistic mothers. It is also something we all need to watch out for in ourselves, especially if we were raised by a narcissistic parent.

Because if that’s what you’re used to, you can grow up wrongly believing that this is what sympathy is supposed to sound like.

I have, numerous times, talked about having a bad day, and had a well-meaning acquaintance tell me how much worse their day was, honestly believing that they were being sympathetic – that telling me how much worse their day was would somehow make me feel relieved, or grateful, that my day wasn’t as bad as theirs.

Of course, it did not make me feel better. It made me feel like my experiences were being trivialized, and like my feelings were being invalidated.

I know these people weren’t trying to be cruel. They truly just didn’t know better. They thought they were empathizing.

If you didn’t grow up learning what genuine sympathy looks/sounds/feels like, it’s hard to know how to show genuine sympathy for other people, even when you really do care about them.

My mom isn’t narcissistic but she does this shit every once in awhile and it really pisses me off cause I never talk about my feelings because I bottle it up until it all comes out. Either she actually helps me or she’s like this and it’s irritating.

ellie-devuta-aphmauverse:

You’re My Wolfsbane | Wattys2018 | (Still in progress/slow updates)
 https://my.w.tt/vlWMTOzWKO 

 !WARNING, SPOILERS FOR APHMAU’S EMERALD SECRET AND APHMAU’S STARLIGHT WONDERLAND!
!ALSO I HAD TO COMPLETE THE STORY SO I COULD ENTER IT INTO THE WATTYS! 

Meet Ellie, a werewolf woman who lives on Lovers Lane with her brothers, friends, and her best friend. She’s fairly normal besides her secrets that she keeps hidden along with her past. Terrible things happen when her, Zane, Garroth, Aaron, Aphmau, Kim and Lucinda go up to mysterious, old lodge that Lycan and Ro’Meave family purchased for their sons to clean up. Ein, a werewolf man who dated Ellie in high school, who later dumped her for Aphmau, returns with a hunger for Aphmau to be his, and tries to force Aaron (the Ultima werewolf) to turn her into a werewolf. Aphmau is forced to hate Aaron and nearly kills him. In the end, Ein is ‘murdered’ by wolves, and Aaron is forced to stay in hiding with his family until he is recovered, while Aphmau goes back home to Lovers Lane with the others. Later she and her friends go off to Starlight Wonderland so Aphmau can be reunited with Aaron. Of course, you may know that part of the story, but nobody knows what happened between Ellie and her best friend, Zane, during all this. Find out in ‘You’re My Wolfsbane’.

Check out the book I’m writing on Wattpad! I may only have three chapters out, but it’s gonna be great!

inquisitorialbusiness:

inquisitorialbusiness:

Gay male OCs made by cis women are the least valid OCs of them all thanks for coming to my TEDtalk

This applies double to bi and pan male OCs, just so you all know. If you are a cis woman and your main/only OC is mlm please think long and hard about why and what you are doing

(feel free to reblog this btw)

Why is this only directed at cis women? I’ve seen plenty of bi/lesbian/pan OCs made by cis men. 

I’ve even seen trans OCs from both cis men and woman.

carbonaceousanomura:

niamhlincoln:

faunmoss:

velmadinkleys:

tropes that need to die: redemption arcs for abusive fathers

also: “I finally forgive him” arcs for the adult children of abusive parent figures

not to mention abusive relationships, where they forgive the abuser, because ‘they’ve changed’

shoot the “maybe they really were doing the best for me” trope in the face

kick the “But she/he’s my mother/father so I HAVE to forgive them and I will” trope in the dick