Author: eclipsemtmte

My Ma: where the hell are all the spare blankets…? *walks into my room* Hey Ky, have you seen–… *spots giant lump of blankets on my bed, me under them* never mind…

Me: >:/ Yeah. Maybe if you actually turned on the heat, I wouldn’t need 7 extra blankets.

My Ma: :I Yeah. I guess I should do that, seeing as it is 47 degrees outside and 52 degrees inside.

bot-dad:

bilesandthesourwolf:

queenofthefaces:

girl-in-a-well:

arkhaeology:

Does anyone remember fanfiction from like 2001 to 2004 tho?

-wacky, highly out of character ‘sleepovers’ with the villains of the series

-not bothering to research the culture the series originated from (we live in Japan but for some reason we’re celebrating a westernized version of Christmas?)

-sugar highs??? the entire cast has eaten sugar and now randomness ensues!!1!

-really surreal oneshots taking a completely illogical idea to the highest possible level played completely for laughs (re: maybe Harry was so good at flying because He Was A Broom All Along)

-user guides for characters (as if they’re adoptable robots)

-disclaimer at the beginning of the story, end of the story,
used as page breaks in the middle of the story I DO NOT OWN THIS PLEASE
DON’T SUE I’M DIRT POOR

-author’s notes at the beginning of the story, end of
the story, used as page breaks in the middle of the story, LOL I WROTE
THIS AT ONE IN THE MORNING PLEASE REVIEW

-nutshell/condensed retellings of the series, again usually humorous

-AUs where everything except the main character’s names are completely different that have no real connections to the series (High School AUs are EVERYWHERE)

-The writer’s favourite character isn’t dead and the rest of the cast questions it once and then never mentions it again

-the writer talking to the characters in script form before the story actually starts

“R/R! Don’t like, don’t read! Flames will be fed to (insert fandom reference here) XP XD”

-truth or dare fic where all the characters are in a game show kinda thing where the commenters get to send in requests for the next chapter

-“100 ways to annoy x”

-songfic w the lyrics right in there

-random google translate Japanese

-self inserts EVERYWHERE

im having war flashbacks

Hello having war flashbacks, I’m Dad!

Dad^bot^1.

Don’t question the days of Humans®. | PayPal | Patreon
Beep-boop!

Bot dad please…..

yeah-yeah-beebiss-1:

acoolguy:

spleenyo:

acoolguy:

instead of snow miser and heat miser: soup miser and milk miser

So you’re implying that somehow heat and soup are in a way diametrically opposed?

you eat hot soup and cold milk? 😂😂😂 L

i’m mister white christmas

i’m mister milk

i’m mister pasteurized

i’m mister smooth as silk

they call me milk miser

whatever i clutch

lactates due to my touch

i’m too much

The parody we didn’t know we needed

I’m really worried…I haven’t heard from my dad in over a week and nobody can get hold of him….I’m terrified that I’m going to get that call that I’ve been dreading to get for the past two years, soon….