transformers-why:

Really Negative Rant Feel Free To Ignore I Just Gotta Say Shit.

Can I just,, be mean for a day and fuckin just mutilate people with words?? I’m really tired of biting my tongue. I dont like at least 30% of the people in my class. They speak and I want to H u r t them because they frustrate me so much. They make fun of other people or they do something racist or they are just generally disrespectful to authorities that are just trying to h e l p. And THEN theyll say something to me or comment on something I’m doing and make shit so much wor s e for themselves. But if I say something I’ll get in trouble for it somehow. And I keep a good rep at school so I have a better chance at good grades and catching breaks on things like extra credit,, so I get to be the nice one.

And then all of my friends get really easily offended, so if I say something kinda rude to them they get hurt and that’s frustrating too. Cause I think they should realize I dont mean it, but since I bite my tongue so much they dont know I’m just feeling rude, so they fuckin take it to heart.

And then I kinda enjoy violence too much (like I really enjoy watching fight scenes and seeing gore, etc.) and if I comment on that they get kinda freaked out which sucks too so I dont feel like I can always be myself around them cause I’ll scare them or something and just,,

Fuck.

Y’know?

Oh my god

I get how you feel. Since I’m the ‘quiet but funny-ish mom friend’ I’m also the ‘innocent’ friend. So if I make a dark joke, say something rude (cause I get pissed off so easily) or make a dirty joke everyone loses their shit. Like, it wasn’t even that dark/rude/dirty, calm yourself.

Or if I get passive aggressive suddenly I’m the bitch yet literally all my “friends” are assholes and are VERY passive aggressive. Or if I even change my tone slightly from the ‘quiet, monotone’ mask voice I have, I’m suddenly offensive. Like holy shit, I have more than one emotion ya assholes.

Even if I mention I wanna smack some sense into someone they’ll lose their shit. I’m a naturally aggressive person with dark humor but I can’t make half the jokes I want to, that I know would be funny, because everyone will just thinj I’m being a bitch or insane.

Like

No. I’m trying to be me, ass-hat. 

I really wanna throw hands at someone