vmohlere:

feynites:

Tip:

When it comes to stuff like racism, sexism, homophobia, etc, I’ve found it’s usually way better to think to yourself ‘I don’t want to be’ than ‘I’m not’.

I.e. if someone goes ‘that thing you just did is ableist’, instead of going ‘I’m not ableist, I don’t hate disabled people!’ it’s usually a lot better to go ‘I don’t want to be ableist, I should rethink what I’m doing/saying/etc in light of that fact’. Because that shifts your thinking so rather than jumping straight into denial and attempts to defend your character, you’re instead more inclined to look at how your actions could be misrepresenting your intentions. Or whether you’ve overlooked something, been callous, or acted in ignorance.

Good thinkin

Exactly. It’s why I either stay out of a situation or I say ‘I’m not trying to be ___, I just don’t know how to properly word myself or I don’t fully understand the concept but this is what I want to say/this is my opinion.”

I’m still new to being social and I’m trying my best to make everyone happy (that deserves it)